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‘Cupping’ Is Winner At Rio Olympics | The Extra Point

‘Cupping’ Is Winner At Rio Olympics | The Extra Point


– The Olympics have begun and so far, Rio has not been a disaster. Unless you’re a Chinese basketball player playing against the US. Oh no, no, no, no, no, no! (heavy bass music) Welcome to The Extra Point,
I’m your host Rob King. For the next two weeks, we are
talking all things Olympics. That could be Katie Ledecky winning gold for even getting in the water, Dana Vollmer popping out a
baby and then winning a bronze, or just Giselle walking because she makes it look effortless. So like with all things,
we have to figure out who the winners and the losers are, and I like to do that
with a little segment called The Medal Ceremony. (heavy bass music) Alright, who is the loser
here, who gets the bronze? I’m giving it to the Olympics as a whole because of the IOC’s
stupid ban on animated GIFs to help protect NBC’s broadcast
rights which is just… Look GIFs are how we
process the world, right. If a picture’s worth a thousand
words, an animated picture on a loop is worth a
solid Bill Simmons column, which is way too long. Here’s the thing IOC. We don’t want to watch the Olympics on TV, we want to watch it via GIFs
shared from our friends, that’s how we consume everything from relationships to sports to politics. I mean in November,
we’re going to the polls to vote for two GIFs. So I get it NBC, you’re trying to protect your broadcast rights but this whole decision is one big… Silver medal, second place. You’re not the loser, but
you’re not the winner either. I’m giving it to the Tongan flagbearer. On the one hand, the guy clearly
won the opening ceremony. Look at him, gorgeous. On the other hand, that’s
his peak right there, that’s as good as it’s gonna get. Now we’ve seen it before with viral stars. It never works out for you. Remember ridiculously photogenic guy? Yeah, he got a job in PR out
of that but now his job is PR. Lookin’ sexy in that cubicle though, yeah. Gold medal, I’m giving it to cups. Everyone wants to know what’s on Michael Phelps’s back, right? Is it an unfortunate
tattoo, is it crop circles, is it the result of some weird sex fetish? No, it’s actually
something called cupping. Now everyone thinks it’s
some new healing fad. What it actually is is a
guerrilla marketing campaign for the cup industry. You see a swoosh, you think Nike. You see a giant back
hickey, you think cups. Except this is one step better because you can always
take off the jersey. You can’t take off that weird cup hickey. This is literally branding. Nice job cups. Mark my words, a year
from now, all the kids at the local park, the cool ones, will have giant back hickeys. (heavy bass music) Big news in Rio over the weekend as three team USA basketball players got in some hot water after attending a spa which turned out to be a brothel. Now they said it was an accident, but not many people are
believing that story. So here now to discuss
it, we have senior writer for The Kicker, Zack Phillips. Zack, welcome to the show. – Thank you, good to be here. – What’s going on with
these NBA players man? – Well you know it’s easy to poke fun, but the truth is the
NBA players were right. I’ve been to that spa, it’s not a brothel, it’s just a very nice spa. – Okay. – You go in, you get a manicure. Get a massage, you have sex
and then they put cucumbers– – Real quick, I’m sorry. – On your eyes which helps exfoliate– – Yeah no real quick though. You did say have sex, so I mean, if you have sex it’s a brothel, right? – No, no, no, no, you’re not listening. This is a typical
Brazilian spa experience. In the afternoon they give you
something called a steam bath which if you’ve never had,
it’s a lot like a sauna except the heat is moist, you have sex, and it’s not as hot as a sauna, so the– – Again, okay real quick
though, you said have sex again and I mean, that’s not a spa
because you’re having sex for money, it’s a brothel. – No, no, no, no, no, no! I did not go to a brothel,
I am not the type of person to go to a brothel, okay! I have a wife and kids,
it’s very stressful. There’s nothing wrong
with pampering yourself and treating yourself to a day
where you lay in a warm bath and have sex or lay out
in the sun and have sex or have sex with a pedicurist. One thing I will say,
it’s worth it to spring for the high class spas because
some of the sketchier spas, people actually have sex in them. – Yeah, that’s… That’s crazy. Thanks for coming on the show and… – Sure. – Clearing that up, man. Zack Phillips. (heavy bass music) Alright here’s our You Pick. So what new crazy sport
should we add to the Olympics? They’ve already got dressage
and synchronized diving, whatever the hell that is. So what else can we add to it? I’m gonna say something called Noseball. You either hit a ball
around with your nose or people just chuck balls at your nose while you run away bleeding and crying. I don’t know, either way
you’d watch it, right? That’s my pick. So now what’s your pick? Let me know in the comments below what crazy new sport you think
we should add to the Olympics and I will read the
coolest ones next episode. Alright guys, I’m Rob King. Thanks for watching the Extra Point. (heavy bass music)

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